FAT49 #1 – The Second Unanimous Decision

The masters in search of Valiant the Aforementioned were many. They came from all lands, spoke in all tongues, dressed differently, ate a variety of dishes, and all had different understandings of the world and what was important. However, what they all had in common was that they were not a cat. So, they wondered, how could Felix (a cat) lead them.

“It’s unthinkable. How could a cat lead? You’d sooner see a mountain bleed.” Some said.
“Rosebush has never been wrong and she has spoken. To doubt her you would have to be a token.” Some would respond.
“But he’s just a cat! What is your answer to that?” Some would respond to the response. It was Beardface the Brash who interrupted this poor rhyming. “Whether he be a cat, a moose or a forest spirit it matters not. He bested me. Me! I have never suffered defeat before now and Felix wiped the floor with me like a mop. He hung me out to dry like a damp towel. He scrubbed me like a dirty rag. He…” Beardface continued with these domestic metaphors for some time.
“Enough!” Felix said finally, “Beardface, though your metaphors are terrible I appreciate your intention. I must prove my worth to the other masters. Would everyone that doubts my legitimacy raise your hand?” One by one the doubters raised their predominantly right hands. Felix gazed over the crowd of people and took a deep breath. “Then I shall have to persuade you.” He said eyes flashing. “If you would like to test me I welcome your challenge.”

They came with cutlasses and clubs, scimitars and swords, hammers and halberds, dagons and daggers. The greatest and mightiest of them did their damnedest to strike him but his alacrity was electric. He dodged, evaded, feinted, avoided, slid, slipped and not a single master touched him. He was ridiculously lucky. Felix, you see, had spent his whole life being sneaky and evasive. He would steal a sausage and dodge the cleaver’s knife. To him these weapons were no different, it was just another trip to the butcher. Also he had triple plated plot armour. Fast paced seconds turned into palpitating minutes which turned into dreary hours which turned into tiring days until finally they were all collapsed from exhaustion. Felix had not delivered a single blow and yet he had bested every master. It was made clear that cardio was of great import.

Felix looked over the prostrate crowd, raised his paw and asked the question. “Will you follow me?” The decision was unanimous, at least from those that were still conscious.

#1 Felix Atop Masters v2

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